There’s nothing better than waking up to sushi and sake or any other stereotypical Japanese meal prepared for you by your loving “weea-boo” who’s clad in nothing but some sort of kawaii maid cafe apron. I mean, who doesn’t want to see some nerd booty first thing in the morning? Call me a weeaboo and I’ll tell you you’re absolutely right about that.
If you don’t know by now, a weeaboo is a person who isn’t Japanese, but is obsessed with Japanese culture to the point where they try to behave like them. Now, some of you might call it weird, but nothing is weird about showing you appreciation for another culture, blackface not included.
Maybe it’s hard to find someone of the opposite sex to date, being a straight male weeaboo because the ratio of male to female is 70:30 in that community. Don’t give up hope cause you’ll be screaming like a Japanese school girl when senpai actually begins to notice you. I’m referring to a human, not your secret Hatoful Boyfriend dating sim or one of your 2D waifus.
It’s so sugoi when they give you a nickname and add an honorific like ‘kun’ or ‘chan’ at the end. The fact that they even took the time to do that definitely means a lot. It’s nice when they make an effort to cuddle with you and watch any anime series that’s currently airing or one of the classics, while simultaneously eating ramen with chopsticks.
Don’t forget to say ‘itadakimasu’ before every meal. The weeaboo-gods will bless you for it. The Japanese language means a lot to them, so maybe you should try to show some interest. It’s always great to know a second language. How else are you going to talk dirty to each other when it’s sexy time? You’ve got to know how to communicate with their inner hentai fetish.
When they invite you over to their house, expect to see some cool posters and figurines. You might even see some green and white striped pantsu if they’re a super-weeb. It’s a plus if they’re a cosplayer, cause that just means you get booty in cosplay. If you say you’re uninterested in that, then, you’re in denial.
Don’t be alarmed if you’re not from a family who removes their shoes at the front door. For a weeaboo, this is quite a habit when you consider the type of person you’re dealing with. That’s a good thing because on a real note, it’s a sign of cleanliness. Japanese people have a lot of good practices so that’s a plus.
So the next time a weeaboo says hello, dive in for a conversation without being creepy about it. When they call you on the phone, answer by saying “moshi moshi” and you’ll see that weeaboo is bae. There’s more to dating a weeaboo than meets the eye, so when they come along just make sure that you’re ready. You’ll be happy you did.
Written by: Nikauleene Andrews
This article is well thought out, lucid, and clever. Good job katamari naruto doki doki.
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